Why Selfishness Might Be the Root of All Our Problems (And How We Can Change)

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Have you ever stopped to think about what truly underlies many of the world’s biggest challenges? From minor daily annoyances to large-scale global issues, I’ve come to believe that much of it boils down to one fundamental human trait: selfishness. And before you protest, let me be clear – I’m not exempting myself, nor are you. It’s simply part of the human condition.

The Natural Instinct vs. The Bigger Picture

Our inherent drive for survival means we’re wired to look out for ourselves. This isn’t inherently bad; our desire to live and thrive is a natural, fundamental aspect of all life forms. The problem arises when this instinct prevents us from seeing beyond our immediate needs and considering the broader impact of our actions.

Often, our selfishness isn’t malicious. It’s less about actively trying to harm others and more about being so engrossed in our own lives that we simply forget others exist. Think about that driver who cut you off this morning. Were they trying to ruin your day? Probably not. They were likely in their own world, focused on their own destination, their own schedule, their own problems. We’ve all been there.

The Tunnel Vision of Modern Life

It’s easy to get caught in this cycle. Life moves incredibly fast, and we often feel like we have to rush just to keep up. When you’re constantly in motion, your focus narrows to what you perceive as most important – and for most individuals, that means things directly related to their own lives. We develop a kind of tunnel vision, where our personal struggles and aspirations consume all our available bandwidth. It’s not a lack of compassion or empathy; it’s often a lack of mental space.

The Power of “Us”

But here’s the crucial point we need to consider: We are not alone in this room. We share this world with billions of other people. And more importantly, it is profoundly in our best interest to help each other out. As the old saying goes, “a rising tide raises all ships.”

Look at human history. All the truly great advancements and achievements have been the result of people working together. As a group, we are infinitely more powerful than as isolated individuals. We can leverage each other’s strengths to compensate for our own weaknesses, creating something far greater than any one person could achieve alone.

While what’s best for the collective might not always be the absolute perfect solution for every individual, it is still good for us. We are, after all, part of that collective. Sometimes, “good” is perfectly okay.

Shifting Our Default Setting

Our selfishness is deeply ingrained, almost like a default setting in our psychology. But it’s not unchangeable. We can learn to be less selfish; it just takes conscious effort and practice.

The first, and perhaps most vital, step is simply to remember that other people exist. The individuals you encounter in your day-to-day life are just as real as you are. No one is an NPC in your personal story. Each of them has just as much right to live and thrive in this world as you do. Once it becomes a habit to acknowledge your place within a larger community, it becomes easier to shift your focus from solely yourself to include others.

Another powerful action you can take is to slow down a little. Find ways to create space in your life for reflection and thoughtful consideration. Yes, life is fast, but we don’t have to be constantly rushing. The world won’t leave you behind if you take a breath. When you give yourself this space, you can truly consider how your actions will affect those around you. You can make more informed, more compassionate decisions. Even this small act can contribute to a better world.

The Ripple Effect

You alone cannot eradicate all the selfishness in the world. You are not going to fix everyone. But you can work on yourself. When you become less selfish, you will not only feel better, but those around you will benefit too. And if more of us commit to this personal journey, focusing on improving our own lives in this way, then the world truly will become a better place, one thoughtful action at a time.

Thoughts on a new year…

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It is 2025. Time sure flies… If I was being honest, I do have some concerns. The world is in a mess. We are steps away from a third world war. America is on the verge of collaps. It seems like we are moving backwards as a nation. And, on top of all that, the earth is dying. But, there is very little I can do about this.

The only thing that I can control is myself. If I worry about all these major issues that I have no control over, then all that I acomplish is making myself miserable. But, if I focus on improving myself, then my live improves, and by extension, those around me will also be improved.

Our lives do have an impact on the world around us. While for must of us that impact is small, other people are still effected. Our choices and how we live our lives do make an impact. So, while I might not beable to make the world as a whole a better place, I can make my small little part of it one.

This is nothing new. I know that I am not the first person to say these things. But I don’t think that there is anything wrong with truth being spoken over and over, especially if it still needs to be heard. I know that I need to be reminded of it daily.

I am working on being more positive in my outlook. This means that I want to see the beauty in each moment.  I want to dwell on the positive things and let go of the negtive. I want to think the best of people. I want to see them with unconditional positive regard. I want to leave an echo of kindness and gentleness where ever I go. Doing this will make the world a better place; even if it is just that small bit of the world that I live in.

Lao Tzu said, “The journey of a thousand [miles] starts with a single step.” I think that the road to a better world starts with a single life. So I am starting it with mine.

I hope that you have the best new year that you can. Nameste.

The Power of Pause

Life can become overwhelmingly busy. We can feel like there just isn’t enough time in the day to get everything done. People now talk about being time poor. Part of this is because we have bought into the idea that the “busier” we are, the better, more successful we are.

Drake Baer addresses this in his blog, When did busy become cool [1]. He says that today, being constantly busy is the aspirational ideal. However, this was not always the case.

For a large part of human history, those at the top of society took pride in just how little work they had to do. Constant toil was the lot of the bottom of society. In fact, taking pleasure in their labor was all that they had. Now, it seems that the higher you go in society, the busier you become.

An article in the Guardian says that where once the flex of the rich and powerful was how much luxury and leisure time you could afford. Today, it is all about how hard you are working [2].

So why did this change?

Nothing New Under the Sun

The idea of business being a virtue is not a new concept. There have always been those who believed that hard work was the best rout. That living a life of ease and leisure was to walk the road to damnation. On the other hand, hard work was the path to righteousness.

I am sure that most of you are familiar with the saying: “ideal hands are the devils tools.” Most scholars believe that this saying is rooted in Proverbs 16:27 [3]. The wording is different, however. The verse basically means that wicked people look for ways to be wicked. How this relates to the saying is the idea that if you have time on your hands, you could find ways to do bad things. Implied is the idea that if you are always working, you won’t have time to get into trouble.

Grammar-Monster.com points to the works of 4th century monk St. Jerome as the possible creator of the phrase as we know it today [4]. He wrote, “Engage in some occupation, so that the devil may always find you busy.”

In short, this idea of the virtue of hard work comes out of religious teachings. Basically, working hard is the key to living a righteous life. Temptation is always waiting to spring on us and drag us down. If we are always busy, we won’t have time to fall for it. If you are always busy, you can’t get into trouble. (You could write books on the social reasons for these kinds of teachings, but I am not going to go there now.)

Now, there is nothing wrong with hard work. It is good to use your time and effort in productive endeavors. But, this doesn’t mean that you should spend all your time working and doing nothing else. We do need breaks from time to time.

Running all the Time Just Makes You Tired

Working hard is a good thing. I would never condone just setting back and letting the world provide for you while you give nothing back. But, too much of a good thing is bad, and this is true of hard work. Honestly however, there is no virtue in being busy for the sake of being busy.

One of the promises of the industrial revolution was that as automation got better, people in general would have to work less. And though it was very slow, it did seem that this was coming to pass. Over time the number of hours the average person worked was dropping. By the early part of the 20th century, it looked like we were on track to a very short work week. But the Great Depression and some cultural changes set everything back. It seems like that dream is long gone.

Burn out is a very really thing. Constantly working and living by the hustle mentality will lead to it faster than anything else. You will reach a point when you mind and body just give out. If you are lucky, this just means that you are forced to take a rest. If you’re not, you could die.

Back when I worked hanging sheetrock, I worked with an older man who had been doing this his whole adult life. He was an expert at the job and was really fast.

One thing that you need to understand, in the profession of hanging sheetrock, you are paid by the foot. It is a production, not hours worked pay scale. This means that the faster you can hang the rock, the more money you could get paid. 

One day on the site, my coworker and I were talking. He was telling me about how years before he worked with his brother. They worked really well together and could knock out a house in just a couple of days. They would regularly work sun up to sun down 6 to 7 days a week. Because of this, they were making really good money. He had a  nice big house, a brand new truck, jet skies, a boat and camper. All the toys and things that money could buy. He thought he was living the high life. That was until he realized he couldn’t remember the last time he got to use any of these toys. All he did was work. He had all this money and stuff thanks to all the work he was doing, but he never got to enjoy it. He learned the hard way that you have to work breaks and vacations into your life.

Again, there are many good reasons to work hard. But, if all you do is work, you are not really living. In then end, you are just making yourself tired. While hard work is good, there is also a place for breaks.

The Pre-Surgical Pause

Several years ago, a new practice was implemented to reduce accidents during surgery. The idea was, once the patient and surgical team were all present in the OR, they would take a step back and go over the details of the surgery. They made sure that they had the right patient, had the correct area that they were going to work marked and that they had every thing they needed. The whole process can takes only a minute or two, but this time out does greatly reduce the number of accidents and improves patient survival and recovery rates [5]. 

By taking this short pause before starting, everyone could be sure that the following procedure would go off without any issues. They were all able to take a breath and re-center.

Slowing down helps to center our lives

When we are in the middle of the hustle, it is easy to lose sight of anything but the next task.  We end up just putting on foot in front of the other. We can even lose sight of why we are doing all the work in the first place. In this mind set, burn out is a certainty.

It is at times like this that stopping long enough to take a few deep breaths can give you space in you day to center and remind yourself of what is really important. You can even reevaluate your tasks and make sure that you are using your time wisely. You can bring a small place of peace in the midst of all the chaos.

There are times when we really have a lot to do. Sometimes we have no choice but to rush and hustle through all our waking hours. But these times need to be balanced with longer periods of down time. It is all about the balance.

Nature moves through seasons. There are periods of work and periods of rest. It is these rhythms that help life thrive. We should learn from nature. The important thing to remember is that we need to have the same kind of rhythm. We need times of work and times of rest. If we want balance in our lives, then we need to seek out the proper rhythm for ourselves.

Your life will be much better when you learn to live by a more natural rhythm. Doing this will help you live a life of true peace and joy. You will be able to handle the chaotic times because you will know that a time of rest and peace is just around the corner. You don’t have to live a life of constant struggle and hustle. You can learn to live a life of balance and peace.

Thank you once again for taking the time to read this. As always, Namaste.


Footnotes:

1. https://medium.com/thrive-global/when-did-busy-become-cool-8ca13f5f54f9

2. https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/apr/24/new-status-symbol-hard-work-spending-ceos

3. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Prov%2016%3A27&version=KJV

4. https://www.grammar-monster.com/sayings_proverbs/idle_hands_are_the_devils_tools.html

5. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8518691/